Published August 18, 1994

Massive Class Wrestling, with its ties to underground fighting rings, is no stranger to controversy. Parents are concerned that it encourages children to perform dangerous stunts such as hitting each other with chairs and piledriving them through the floor. There are even rumors that some of the wrestlers have ties to mutant terrorists.

Brock Masters plays the character of "Cannibal Bubba" in the ring, an obese homosexual who frequently "jokes" about eating his fans. They, "go in Bubba's stewpot," as he puts it. What follows is a candid interview with one of the most notorious men in wrestling.

First question: Is this fake? Is Cannibal Bubba just an offensive character you came up with?

Of course not, meat.

So you are you truly a homosexual?

Obviously.

The popular image of the homosexual is a slim, muscular young man. Yet you are—

I'm not a character. I'm a real person, meat.

Apologies. And you also eat people?

Only fans. Unless I'm really hungry.

(Mr. Masters proceeded to grin like a maniac and lick his chops like an animal. This reporter immediately ended the interview and left.)